Dear Villy,
Is it OK for a husband or wife to have a secret friend of the opposite sex?
I thought everyone could have friends of the opposite sex, but lately I've been feeling awkward and wary about everyone and everything. I just dont know anymore, my mind is all confused with feelings and I feel like Im falling over an edge.
Please help me!
Totally Horny (It actually said "Baffled")
Dear Totally Horny,
You would be surprised as to how often people mail me this question and being that I am a certified licensed pervert with a minor in chauvinism. I am the absolute expert on this sort of thing and I am more than willing to answer your question.
Long as it is purely a sexual relationship and is recorded for my viewing benefit as well as my profiting benefit, then yes, it is more than okay to have friends of the opposite sex.
But when Villain don't get his cut or Villain don't bust his (g)ut... there is a tremendous problem. Then you are just wrong and I cannot condone such appalling behavior. It is also acceptable for your friend to be battery powered, but the same rules apply to where you should be recording the time(s) you spend with your "friend" and Villain gets his cut and busts his (r)ut.
But you need to get your freak on. (Insert some philosophical reason for this to mask me just being a pervert and trying to get you topless here) and that's why you should take your top off. Trust me, I'm a doctor. (is not a doctor)
Waiting with camcorder,
Villain
Villain is in no way shape or form a licensed therapist. As a matter of fact, he has been court ordered, in addition to community service hours, to see a licensed therapist. This is also for entertainment. So please do not take this seriously and get all offended and what like. Instead, go to your nearby convenience store and buy a sense of humor. Then learn to laugh. Then get laid, cause we should all be getting laid.
***If after all that, you still would like the advice of Villain Masari, please private message him here, or in DR and who knows? Your letter may be featured here.***
